Preparing Siblings for a New Baby

Guest blog written by the amazing Child Therapist: Mandy Harrison.

As a child therapist, one of the most common concerns I hear from parents is how to prepare their older children for the arrival of a new sibling. The anticipation of a new baby brings a mix of excitement and anxiety, not just for parents but for the little ones already at home. It’s natural for older children to have mixed feelings about the new addition, but with thoughtful preparation, you can help them feel included and excited about becoming a big brother or sister.

Start the Conversation with Your Child About the New Baby Early

One of the most important things you can do is to start talking to your child about the new baby well before the baby arrives. Depending on your child’s age, they may not fully grasp the concept right away, but consistent conversations will help them gradually understand what’s happening. Use simple, age-appropriate language to explain that a new baby is growing in mommy’s belly and will soon be joining the family.

For younger children, picture books about becoming an older sibling can be a great tool to help them visualize and understand the changes ahead. For older kids, involving them in the preparation process, like picking out baby clothes or setting up the nursery, can make them feel more connected to the baby before they even arrive.

Acknowledge and Validate Your Child's Feelings

It’s normal for siblings to experience a range of emotions about the arrival of a new baby. Some may be excited and proud, while others might feel anxious or even jealous. It’s important to validate their feelings and let them know that it’s okay to feel however they’re feeling. Encourage them to talk about their emotions and ask questions, and be sure to listen actively to what they have to say.

Letting your child know that their feelings are normal and that they’re not alone in feeling this way can go a long way in helping them cope with the changes. You might say something like, “I know it might feel a little strange that mommy’s attention will be on the baby, but you are so important to me, and I will always have time for you too.”

Create a Special Role for the Older Sibling

Helping your child understand their new role as an older sibling can help them feel important and included. Talk to them about all the things they can do as a big brother or sister, such as helping with diaper changes, singing lullabies, or even just keeping the baby company. For younger children, this might mean simple tasks like fetching a diaper or holding the baby’s hand during tummy time.

Emphasize that their new role comes with special responsibilities and privileges, and celebrate the unique bond they will share with their new sibling. Creating a “Big Sibling Kit” with small toys, books, and activities they can do while you’re busy with the baby can also make them feel special and prepared for their new role.

Keep Routines as Consistent as Possible

Children thrive on routine, and the arrival of a new baby can disrupt the daily rhythms they’re used to. To help your child feel secure during this transition, try to keep their routines as consistent as possible. This might mean sticking to their usual bedtime routine, keeping up with their favorite activities, or ensuring they have one-on-one time with you each day.

Of course, life with a newborn is unpredictable, and there will be times when routines are disrupted. When this happens, explain the changes to your child in advance and reassure them that things will go back to normal soon. Consistency helps children feel safe and secure, even amidst the changes that come with a new baby.

Encourage Bonding Between Siblings from Day One

Once the baby arrives, it’s important to create opportunities for your older child to bond with their new sibling. Encourage gentle interactions like holding the baby (with supervision), talking to them, or showing them their favorite toys. These moments of connection can help build a strong sibling bond from the start.

At the same time, be mindful of your child’s need for personal space. They may not always want to interact with the baby, and that’s okay. Allow them to set their own pace for building a relationship with their sibling.

Be Patient During the Sibling Adjustment Period

Remember, the adjustment to having a new sibling is a big change for your child, and it may take some time for them to fully adapt. Be patient and offer extra love and attention during this period. Keep an eye out for any signs of regression or behavioral changes, which can be common when a new baby arrives. If you notice anything concerning, don’t hesitate to reach out to a child therapist or counselor for support.

By taking the time to prepare your child for the arrival of a new sibling, acknowledging their feelings, and helping them find their new role in the family, you can foster a positive sibling relationship and make this transition as smooth as possible for everyone.

Embrace the Journey of Welcoming a New Baby Together

Welcoming a new baby is a journey that affects the entire family, but with thoughtful preparation and open communication, you can help your child feel heard, valued, and excited about their new role as an older sibling. Remember, every family is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Trust your instincts, be patient, and most importantly, enjoy this special time of growth and bonding for your family.

Did you know that you can even include an older sibling in the creation process of your breastmilk or DNA keepsake? Add a lock of their hair, their birthstone or let them pick the design. This way you can have a precious jewelry piece or ornament that represents all of your children at once. A real heirloom piece that can be passed on to next generations.